Reblogging blog for amusing piffles found on the internet
carnationsandrobots said: Please consider: a Brooklyn Nine Nine/MCU crossover in which Brooklyn Natives Steve and Bucky (and probably also Sam despite not being a Brooklyn-ite) visit the 99 for some sort of PR thing.
wow i was not expecting need of this to grab my heart and squeeze it in quite so dramatic a fashion
santiago and peralta both being old-school from-childhood captain america fans and falling over/fighting/one-upping each other trying to impress him while steve, used to the avengers, fixes his eyes on the middle distance and actively ignores their antics by asking about their arrest rates and the monthly crimes statistics. steve eventually getting too exasperated to continue and instead bonding with terry about art and their shared overactive metabolism issues while peralta and santiago hiss at each other about whose fault it is that captain america doesn’t like them
boyle immediately deciding bucky is his favorite/new best friend and plopping down in a chair next to him and being like, here have some delicious pie! bucky staring at him balefully and kind of trying to edge away when boyle just beams in response to the full Winter Soldier Glare, instead of pissing himself while trying to fuck off as quickly as possible, like any normal would. bucky eventually eating the pie and very quietly being like, “goddamn, this is really good pie”
rosa and sam making eyes at each other from across the room during the press junket thingy, and rosa coming up to sam after and being like, “hey. i like the shape of your ass. take me to dinner,” and sam laughing and being like, “hell no, not if you’re going to ask me like that, a guy needs a little romance,” and rosa being like, “i hate romance,” and sam being like, “then i guess you’re going to have to kiss my ass goodbye,” and the entire exchange ending in a long-term relationship in which both of them are deeply fulfilled
sTEVE AND HOLT SHUTTING THEMSELVES IN HOLT’S OFFICE BECAUSE STEVE’S THINKING OF COMING OUT & WANTS HOLT’S ADVICE
BUCKY AND GINA NAPPING TOGETHER BECAUSE GINA WAS LIKE, I’LL SHARE MY NAP BLANKET WITH YOU IF YOU’LL PLATONICALLY HOLD ME IN YOUR BIG STRONG ARMS HASHTAG CUDDLEBEAR, AND BUCKY WAS LIKE, FINE
SAM AND TERRY GOING TO A BAR AND BUYING EACH OTHER SHOTS FOR HAVING TO BE THE ONLY SANE PERSON ON A TEAM FULL OF LUNATICS
IT. WOULD. BE. SO. AMAZING!!!!!
I emailed this to gyzym under the subject heading: “My fingers slipped,” so, y’know.
"There’s supposed to be a ‘t’ at the end of that sentence," Jake says, then adds, "Ow, I thought I told you to have your elbows registered as a concealed weapon."
"Under my jacket doesn’t count as concealed," Amy tells him, reflexive the way she hasn’t been since he got back. Things are still — weird. But fortunately she’s got a good distraction, and so she turns back to Rosa (who’s watching them both with the shit-eatingest of all shit-eating expressions) and demands, "You know Captain America?"
Rosa shrugs, clearly not getting why Jake (and Amy, a little bit, but mostly Jake) is freaking out. “Sure. Was in my book club for a while before he moved down to DC. Kept in touch - me and him have him on a regimen.”
"Like, for exercise?" Jake says. "Does he do chinups with one finger? Or his balls?"
"How would you do a chinup with your balls — don’t answer," Amy amends.
Rosa rolls her eyes, grabbing her jacket. “No, dumbass, he’s trying to catch up on like seventy years of literature. He crashed with me a couple months ago and we ripped through the whole Discworld series in four days. It was tight.”
"Wait - Steve your nerdbro geek friend is Steve Rogers?" Jake screeches, and just like that the whole bullpin is drop-dead silent. Amy looks around; Hitchcock’s got a finger up his right nostril, Boyle’s mid-bite, even Gina’s actually paying attention.
Rosa huffs. “This is why I don’t tell you stuff, Peralta.”